My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
