i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize