I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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