You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
