did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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