Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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