i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
