doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
