...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
