I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
