Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
