another moral hangover. fuck.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
