All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
