Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
