Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
