now i know why i became what i already was.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
