tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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