her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
wow bdsm is so cute
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