How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
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You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize