We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
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