Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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