Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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