May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
did i walk over a car last night?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
