If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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