You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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