Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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