okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
