but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
