I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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