Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
