After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
