But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
too bad you live with your parents still
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
