SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
