I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
