Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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