Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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