Porn is love you can see.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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