I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think my fart just growled at me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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