susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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