I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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