so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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