my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize