East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
ok first of all what the fuck
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
