Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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