Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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