D3 body, D1 cock
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
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