I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
