Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
