Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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