The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
