i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
