The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
