I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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