I smell stomach acid.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
