it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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