even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize