Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
