You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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