The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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