I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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