I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
