I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
