I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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